Other Crap

The real reason Ben Affleck got mad at Jennifer Lopez and 'postponed' their wedding was because she somehow obtained his password and checked his e-mails, which included messages from flirting female fans and one he wrote to Jennifer Garner consoling her on her marital split. Yeah, I'm sure he provided some excellent "consolation". From now on, we'll use that euphemism here, as in "The consolin' government was supposed to give me a big refund, and I got nothin'. I feel like I've been consoled, and I wasn't even kissed."