Jennifer Lopez dumps Affleck because she can't understand him when he speaks Spanish. That isn't why they broke up, but I'm not kidding - Affleck speaks fluent Spanish and Lopez really struggles with the language! The big questions now - (1) they've been split up for a couple of hours, and Affleck is wondering if he will ever love again (2) he's also wondering if he can legally change his name to Bennifer.
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