Other Crap

INSPIRED BY EARLY IRAQI HANDOVER, BUSH HOLDS U.S. ELECTION FOUR MONTHS EARLY. The element of surprise was a crucial factor as Bush romped to victory. The election, about which only top Bush administration officials were notified, went exceedingly well for the president, who carried all fifty states and garnered approximately one hundred percent of the vote. Responding to crazed reporters on the first tee, the President would have said, "now watch this drive", but he had hit his drive early, and was then carrying a 7-iron in preparation for his second shot.