Other Crap

A featurette about Poseidon

• "When a rogue wave capsizes a luxury cruise ship in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, a small group of survivors find themselves unlikely allies in a battle for their lives. As the unstable vessel rapidly floods with water, they face unimaginable odds and life-altering decisions in their desperate fight to the surface."
• This film violates one of the most important of the Scoopian Unities of Time and Place and Nudity 'n Shit. I've theorized before that there is only one kind of movie which should be remade: a pretty good movie that should have been great. Even narrowing the criteria in that way can produce total disasters like Rollerball, but at least it is a good starting point. Having said that, and even admitting that other criteria may be valid, it is hard for me to envision any good reason to remake The Poseidon Adventure, unless it involves Jessica Alba and Salma Hayek naked.
• The film also violates another, more obscure section of the Scoopian Unities. It has a sinking ship, and no Billy Zane.
• This is being directed by the guy who did Das Boot. I guess he's really into "rogue waves", because he also directed The Perfect Storm.