Other Crap

"A newly discovered Dead Sea Scroll has revealed that Columbus, Ohio and parts of Licking and Fairfield Counties are actually the site of the Holy Land"

• "The Palestinian Liberation Organization has opened up a recruiting office on High Street near the Ohio State University campus. Business, however, has been slow as few persons in this predominantly Methodist city have expressed much interest in becoming suicide bombers, especially as football season is starting up and the Buckeyes have done well in the pre-season polls."