Other Crap

Conan O'Brien's quotables for the week.

• "Apparently, Paris Hilton was rammed from behind, then, later, she had a car accident."
• Ashlee Simpson said she did not want to marry someone who can sing. "Ashlee said, in other words, 'I'm looking for someone like me.'"
• "In a new interview, Geraldo Rivera said that in person Michael Jackson is much more normal. Fortunately, Jackson only seems normal when he's standing next to Geraldo Rivera."