- "Raise your hand if you thought the world wanted a remake of the Shelly Winters disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure. Now, take that same hand, cut it off at the wrist and shove it up your ass, you dumbfuck."
- "It's dreadful, pointless, mindless horseshit. If the people who made this turd could have made a fortune more easily selling bogus dick-enlarging pills, they would have."
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