Other Crap

Area bowlers busted for illegal steroids

"A state record number of 300 games at the DonDee Lanes over the past few years has apparently grabbed the attention of bowling's governing body, the United States Bowling Congress (USBC). The attention it got though was not the kind the DonDee was hoping for. A small task force from the USBC showed up on one of the alley's many league nights recently and demanded that a number of bowlers take a drug test using the usually reliable urine sample. 'It was embarrassing," said one bowler from the Big Ballers team who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. "One minute you're drinking a beer and knocking down pins, and the next minute, you're peeing in a cup with a guy in a $500 dollar suit standing six inches away.'"

Y'know, I hate April First.