iowahawk: The Ratings Always Drop Twice

The Return of Inspector Dan Rather

Great stuff from Iowahawk. The hardboiled gumshoe/anchor takes on the case of the missing ratings.

"They say dames are like a flowers. Maybe they're right. Nice to look at, fun to smell, covered in complicated reproductive do-dads. But brother, get too close and you'll also find out that they have thorns. And bees. And enough pollen to flood your sinus with a hot painful load of mucus that'll take a jumbo economy size box of Claritin and a six pack of hankies to forget. It's a hard lesson you learn every day in my line of work. My name is Rather. And I'm a dick."