Other Crap

Judge: lap dances are protected by the Oregon constitution

If only Madison, Morris, Hamilton and the other men at the Philadelphia Convention had possessed the wisdom of Oregon's founding fathers. Jefferson wanted the document to enumerate a free man's God-given right to a lap dance, under his overriding principle of "the pursuit of happiness," but Jefferson was not a official delegate to the constitution, and his friend Ben Franklin refused to argue his case, a fact which caused some friction between the men for a time.

The ever practical Franklin did argue stirringly for a constitutional ceiling on the price of lap dances, which he hoped would never exceed the cost of a "stout grown makrel or cod." He chose this unit of measurement because many men in colonial days would bring a cod to "ye strippe exhibition" to exchange for a lap dance, and would place the fish in their laps to demonstrate their readiness.

Hence the term codpiece.