Other Crap

Paris issues most insincere, obviously, scripted PR statement ever

Not only did she dwar on the Lou Gehrig technique (her adversity has made her the luckiest girl in the world), but she somehow managed to change her statement into a "support our boys in uniform" speech. After all, who could oppose that?

She also mentioned that any remaining lepers in the world should move back to Molokai so she can continue Father Damien's noble work.

"This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience."

"I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world."