BRITNEY IS GOING TO DIE SOON - What Would Tyler Durden Do

BRITNEY IS GOING TO DIE SOON - What Would Tyler Durden Do

"She's been wearing this same outfit for two days now and she drives like she doesn't care if she lives or dies, so it sounds like she's pretty profoundly depressed. According to my sources, it's because the farmer told her that if they injected the pigs with caramel, they would just die. They won't have a caramel center, they'll just die. And Britney said, "but ... but I wanted da carmel piggy." And then her bottom lip quivered, and she got real sad, and she just kinda shuffled away with her shoulders slumped. Awww."

I seem to be getting shellacked in the celebrity death pool. My girl, Lohan seems to be cleaning up her act whilst Britney and Winehouse are making dinner reservations at Reaper's. I hope Britney doesn't challenge Death to a chess game, or I'm fucked. "Now how does the horsie move?"