The Canadian Press: Wisconsin man convicted of sexually assaulting dead deer gets more jail time

Remember the guy who went to jail for fucking a dead horse? As soon as he got out of prison he fucked a dead deer.

Gosh, the world has changed. Why, back in my day, we fucked LIVE horses. The kids today are such pussies for having to kill them first. Takes all the fun out of the fucking.

When I say "we," I mean OTHER members of my generation, of course, particularly those who have run for an elected office.

I never fuck dead horses. I only beat them.

I do, however, enjoy occasional sex with more dangerous live animals like great white sharks, Siberian tigers, and stewardesses.