Thursday, January 17, 2008

Jessica Simpson Completes Elaborate Plan To Destroy Cowboys' Season | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Jessica Simpson Completes Elaborate Plan To Destroy Cowboys' Season

"'Ever since I was a little girl growing up in football-obsessed Texas, it's been a dream of mine to completely bring the evil, arrogant Cowboys organization and its boorish and cocky fans to their knees. But the suave and sophisticated players on that team are nigh-unapproachable for a nice country girl like me,' Simpson declared from her Throne of Thorns, situated in the surveillance room of her headquarters. 'And then I saw Tony. Instantly I knew that he was the weak link, the keystone, the only one for me to exploit.'"

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