Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"The Democrats debated in Las Vegas. Barack Obama picked up a very important endorsement there from the Hookers Union. If you can get the hookers, all you need is about half the magicians and you have the state of Nevada locked up." --Jimmy Kimmel

"John McCain came in second in Michigan. There was one embarrassing moment yesterday when McCain spoke at a polling place that was also a funeral home. I don't want to say McCain looked old but when he tried to leave the funeral home, he had to show ID." --Jay Leno

"By gosh, Mitt Romney won the primary in Michigan. How about that? Which, as you know, now makes him a shoe-in to become president of Michigan. We're all very proud of Mitt. He's the only presidential candidate to come from the Channel 2 news team. Let's throw it over to Mitt and see what's going on in the weather." --David Letterman