Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"This week marked the one-year-left point in the Bush presidency. I pray he doesn't have one more giant fuck-up in him, because, you know, he does keep trying. He tried to appoint his cleaning lady to the Supreme Court. It's not like he's going to quit. He's going to be the worst president ever to the very last minute of the very last day. ... So I'm still nervous about this last year. I have the same feeling about this last year of his in office as I have when I'm on the highway and I have to go to the bathroom and I just passed a sign that says 'Next Rest Stop: 28 miles.'" --Bill Maher

"On the Democratic side, that's where the real soap opera is. Not that the Clintons always bring the drama. The pundits ... are now saying that Bill Clinton is down there in South Carolina playing the bad cop ... uh, while the two strippers are dressed up as nurses. --Bill Maher

"They're saying Bill Clinton may risk his entire legacy on this. ... Which I think is such a sweet love story, that he's doing this for his wife. It's the classic love story, isn't it? Boy meets girl. Boy fucks everything that moves for the next 25 years. Boy makes good by electing girl president" --Bill Maher

"(Dennis Kucinich is so tiny that ...) he tossed in the hand towel." --Jay Leno

"Support for Rudy Giuliani has fallen to 12%, and that's just among his children." --Jay Leno

"Today is the 171st birthday of the flush toilet. Or, as Senator Larry Craig calls it, 'the love seat'" --David Letterman