Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Don't worry about Edwards. He's going back to hosting 'Wheel of Fortune,' so he'll be fine." --David Letterman

Listen to this, Janet Reno has endorsed Hillary Clinton. However, this endorsement is slightly tainted because, as you know, Janet Reno was mentioned in the Mitchell Report." --David Letterman

"Not only Bush will be out of a gig in about a year, but Cheney will also be out of the office. Don't worry about him. After leaving office, he's got it all lined up. He is going to be doing a one-man show right here on Broadway. A one-man show. It's called 'The Angina Monologues'" --David Letterman

"It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy." --Jay Leno

"You see Barack Obama at that rally surrounded by all those Kennedys? Man, I couldn't tell if he was running for president or bartender." --Jay Leno

"Edwards' departure leaves the Democratic nomination down to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, which means that the Founding Fathers finally have a winner in their 'How Long Will It Take Our Nation To Nominate A Non-White Male' betting pool. Oh, I can't wait to find out who is the winner. Ladies and gentlemen, George Mason of Virginia correctly guessed 219 years. Congratulations, Georgey!" --Jon Stewart

For months, Giuliani was the frontrunner for the Republican nomination, and then people started voting. ... He finished in ninth place and 11th place." --Jon Stewart

"John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani both today announced they're pulling out of the race for president so they can spend more time with each other. That's really nice. Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter. It matters that these are two men who are very much in love and they're not ashamed of it." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Giuliani said he's going to stay active. He said he will endorse John McCain; whereas Edwards surprised everyone by saying he will endorse Herbal Essence Fruit Fusions Volumizing shampoo." --Jimmy Kimmel