Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I mean, think about it, John McCain and with a young blond, and this was interesting: out of force of habit, Hillary is standing by him." --David Letterman

"I like that John McCain. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?' He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello?'" --David Letterman

"Today's New York Times is claiming that John McCain, who is 71 years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there's no footage. Political experts say this could be a huge scandal for McCain because he's married and the woman he's accused of having an affair with is 31 years younger than he is. In a related story, earlier today McCain was endorsed by Bill Clinton." --Conan O'Brien

"Scientists now believe that a child's intellectual power, a child's brain power, a child's I.Q., is inherited solely from the mother. All the intelligence of a child comes from the mother. These findings are based on the study of the Bush twins." --Jay Leno

"I don't know if anything happened or not, but I think the rule of thumb should be every year you're in a Vietnamese prison camp, you should be allowed one extramarital affair." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's been a very tough day for John McCain with the New York Times' allegation that he had an affair. The paper is saying McCain had an affair, years ago, with Joan of Arc." --Craig Ferguson