Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Did you folks get drunk on St. Patrick's Day? I think maybe I had a little too much to drink yesterday. I don't remember what happened exactly, but I woke up this morning between former Governor Jim McGreevey and his wife." --David Letterman

"It just gets stranger and stranger, doesn't it? ... Former Governor Jim McGreevey announced one day that he was not be married anymore because he liked kissing boys. ... I don't mean boys. I mean men. So anyway, they said, okay. You don't have to be governor anymore. Now it turns out that he and his wife and another guy were having three-way sexual acts. I read that and I said to myself, I can't even handle a three-way bulb." --David Letterman

"And now on Monday, right after being sworn in, the new governor of New York, David Paterson, he announces that he cheated on his wife. I'm thinking, this guy didn't waste any time, did he?" --David Letterman

"This is the latest on the Spitzer scandal. Details are still coming forward. It's been reported that the prostitute involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal was once hired by Charlie Sheen, but Sheen is denying it. Yeah. Because it turns out Sheen has an air-tight alibi. He was with three other hookers at the time." --Conan O'Brien

"And Elton John announced this week he's gonna sing at a big fundraiser for Hillary Clinton next month. Is that a good idea? Hillary and Elton on the stage? Let's hope they don't show up wearing the same pantsuit." --Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney went to Iraq. Or, as he calls it, Spring Break." --Jay Leno

"Today in Philadelphia, Barack Obama gave a major speech on race in America. I'm sorry, but I believe we solved racism in America when Rosa Parks drove that bus to Congress. Okay, have we forgotten so soon? Come on, it's been hundreds of years. At this point, who even remembers who owned who?" --Stephen Colbert

"The media has hammered Obama over the reverend's comments, putting the senator on the defensive and backing him into a corner -- a corner with five cameras, eight flags, two microphones and 30 minutes of uninterrupted airtime. Right where he is at his weakest." --Stephen Colbert