Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"The death Saturday of actor Charlton Heston has elicited tributes from many corners, including Nancy Reagan, who called him an American hero, President Bush who described him as an advocate for liberty, and apes, who called him Public Enemy Number One." --Seth Meyers

"Well, experts are now suggesting, if Hillary loses Pennsylvania, she could be finished. I don't want to say Hillary's days might be numbered, but her Secret Service code name is Katie Couric." --Jay Leno

"According to his tax return last year, Vice President Cheney donated $166,000 to charity. ... Yeah, most of the money went to Cheney's favorite holiday charity, Coal for Tots." --Conan O'Brien

"All three presidential candidates this week went on American Idol. Did they really think the same people who are interested in a superficial, poorly-run popularity contest are also interested in American Idol?" --Bill Maher

"Elton John had a big fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, and he scolded America. He said Hillary's campaign is hindered by the misogynist attitudes of Americans. Then he launched into his big hit, 'The Bitch is Back.'" --Bill Maher

"All the candidates where there, and while the media was focusing on them and them asking the questions, Senator Mel Martinez of Florida said to Senator John Thune of South Dakota, 'We could be naked juggling, and no one would notice,' that's what was said. 'We could be naked, and nobody would notice.' And Senator Larry Craig said, 'I would.'" --Jay Leno

"The ladies of 'The View' had a big guest today. The Republican nominee for president, John McCain, sat down to chat. One interesting thing McCain said was, that unlike President Bush, who says he's going, if he were president, he would boycott the Olympic ceremonies this summer in China. Not because of China's human rights record, though, but because the ceremony starts at 8:00 and he goes to bed at 6:45." --Jimmy Kimmel