Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I have to tell you, 'American Idol' beat the debate last night. You know why it won? Simon Cowell, that's why it won. Because on that show, you know at least one person is telling the truth." --Jay Leno

"I watched the debate between Hillary and Barack. It was interesting. She was kinda lashing out at him, but to be fair, I think it was just the liquor talking." --Jay Leno

"And yesterday, of course, was Pope Benedict's birthday. Happy birthday to him. They had a little party for him at the White House. You may have seen that. As you know, the pope does not drink, he does not do drugs, and he's taken a vow of celibacy. So it's pretty safe to say no congressmen showed up for that party." --Jay Leno

"And at the party yesterday, Pope Benedict spoke out against evil, and then Dick Cheney gave the rebuttal." --Jay Leno

"46,000 people, and to make sure the crowd did not get unruly, they cut off beer sales after the seventh commandment." --Jay Leno

"Speaking of New York, tax records show that the New York Governor, David Paterson, made $270,000 last year, but only gave $150 to charity. Now, his predecessor, Governor Spitzer, he gave thousands of dollars to charity. At least I think that was her name." --Jay Leno

"These international trips are tricky. And often there can be some confusion and perhaps some embarrassment. They had an episode today in Washington, everybody is laughing about it now. But at the time, it was not funny. The pope, after the mass, accidentally gave the last rites to John McCain." --David Letterman

"This was a nice thing. President Bush and the pope met privately at the White House. And they prayed together at the White House. And ... I'm checking on this, it was the first time anyone had been on their knees in the Oval Office since, uh ... Oh, I can't remember," --David Letterman