"Scarlett Johansson is only 5 years older than Emma Watson (they're 18 and 23, respectively), but Scarlett looks way, way older. Scarlett has aged like a civil war nurse; she's lived 10 lifetimes in just a few years. And by that I mean she's had tons and tons of sex. At this point you could put your penis in her and clank it around like one of those triangles they use to call cowboys to dinner."
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