Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Jon Stewart, on the release of John McCain's medical records: "1,200 pages. And here's the amazing part: It only covered the last eight years. 150 pages a year. I am hoping that that is a font issue. Well, I think with all this information we can make a diagnosis [on screen: reporters saying McCain is "fit as a fiddle" and is "in really good health." One reporter also asks whether 71 is the new 30]. I guess that makes "dead" the new 50."

Jon Stewart: "By the way I mention one thing because John McCain is someone I know, someone I respect. I don't usually like to bring personal feelings and let them interfere with my fake journalistic feelings. But a dermatologist was quoted in a report as saying John McCain's, quote, '...buttocks are unremarkable, except for some very light tan freckling.' ... But I need to address this idea, this fallacy, this lie, that John McCain's ass is unremarkable. We have had him on our show over a dozen times. You watch the senator walk out to sit down, but when the interview is over, I have the distinct pleasure of watching this man leave."