Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen. They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

"Al Gore, or as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al, placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly."