Dave Barry: Lost in Chinese translation - 08/07/2008 - MiamiHerald.com

Dave Barry: Lost in Chinese translation

"The Olympics are a HUGE deal for China. Everywhere you look in this teeming capital city, you see vague shapes in the distance that might be large impressive Olympic things if you could actually get a good look at them, which you can't because the air is swarming with toxic particles the size of Milk Duds."

"Nevertheless, there will be no problems whatsoever during these Olympics, which will without question be the greatest Games ever held. Why do I say this? I say it because Chinese government authorities are closely monitoring us journalists and controlling our use of the Internet. They can cause trouble for us if we write something they don't like, or mention a topic they want us to avoid, such as ERROR ERROR ERROR YOU ARE HAVING TECHNICAL INTERNET PROBLEM ERROR ERROR ERROR ..."