"China, our new arch-rival, is beating us. Of course, they're getting gold medals in mutant events such as the 10-meter air pistol, which, if I understand it correctly without doing any research, basically means shooting a BB gun. Now I grant you that the BB gun is a fine tool for minor vandalism, but how can it be an Olympic sport? Why not Frisbee or lawn darts? Why not beer pong? We would KILL China in beer pong."
"Our team is competing against a lot of smaller, noncelebrity nations, including, to name just a few that I personally never heard of, Comoros, Principe and Timor-Leste. I'm wondering how carefully the Olympic authorities checked these so-called ''nations'' out before letting them compete. I suspect that you and your friends could show up here in matching track suits and claim to be the team from, say, the Republic of Spaldoon, and they'd let you be in the Olympics, as long as you brought BB guns."
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Dave Barry from the Olympics
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