Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Thirty-eight million people watched Barack Obama at the stadium in Denver. There were 84,000 full-throated supporters who turned out there at the field. The Republicans fired back today. They say, 'We can also fill a stadium with thousands of screaming people. For example, the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina.'" –Bill Maher

"What a historic night. The first time an actual black person is leading the charge for a major American political party. I think that says something pretty great about America: we will accept a black man to lead us if the only other choice is a woman." –Bill Maher

"John McCain's VP pick is the governor of Alaska, a unknown hockey mom named Sarah Palin that no one ever heard of. The only other job she had in politics was the mayor of a small town known as Wasilla, Alaska, and now she has the opportunity to be on a ticket opposite Barack Obama, the first black man she's ever seen." –Bill Maher

"I think this is pertinent because McCain has been running this campaign based on 'We're at war, it's a dangerous world out there. The Democrats don't get that. I, John McCain, am the only one standing between the blood-thirsty Al Qaedas and you. But if I die, this stewardess can handle it.'" –Bill Maher

"The McCain people believe that Americans will disregard her inexperience because they will fall in love with her story. She was a runner up in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant., which may sound trite, but you try walking in high-heeled snow shoes." –Bill Maher

Some presidents who have had affairs: Roosevelt, Kennedy, Jefferson. Presidents without affairs: Nixon, Bush. Bill Maher's take: "That fact alone should make you vote for Ron Jeremy."