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Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

"You probably saw this on the news. A woman at a John McCain rally said that Barack Obama is an Arab. And McCain quickly corrected her. It was really awkward, because McCain had to tell her, 'Look, Governor Palin, you are wrong.'" --Jay Leno

"Over the weekend, Sarah Palin was booed at a Philadelphia Flyers hockey game. According to ABC News, the booing was so loud, they cranked the music up to deafening levels to drown it out. And to make it even more awkward, once they cranked up the music, McCain started yelling, 'Turn that crap down!'" --Jay Leno

"Today, they gave out the Nobel prize for economics. Believe me, in this economy, there weren't many people to choose from. You know who wound up getting it? Gary Coleman for those cash call commercials." --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin went to Philadelphia and dropped the first puck for the beginning of the NHL season. You can tell every now and then that Sarah Palin spends a lot of time in Alaska, because when after she dropped the first puck at the hockey game, she cut a hole in the ice and began to fish." --David Letterman

"A lot of things on sale on Columbus Day. You can get a good deal on a dining room set, mattresses, General Motors." --David Letterman

"But Bush says he's going to tweak the financial bailout. That's like the captain of the Titanic tweaking the brunch menu." --David Letterman

"Bush went on TV today to reassure the public. I don't know if it worked, because halfway through the speech two guys came in and repossessed the podium." --Bill Maher

"So let's see, the country is broke. Listen to this: 60 percent of the people in America now say we are headed toward a depression, not a recession, a depression. We are in desperate needs of profitable industries we can tax. Um, now can we legalize pot?" --Bill Maher

"The legislative panel in Alaska investing Troopergate released their report that says Sarah Palin illegally abused her power as governor by firing the state police chief because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband. But they said she didn't actually break the law so she won't go to prison. Which is a pity because it would have been the first time she was ever involved in a complete sentence." --Bill Maher

"I saw a guy on Hollywood Boulevard said to a hooker 'What can I get for an extra 50?' She said '100 shares of General Motors.'" --Jay Leno

"Oh, General Motors fell to its lowest level since 1950, not a good sign. In fact, in terms of carmakers, General Motors is now behind Tonka and Hot Wheels." --Jay Leno

"Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton: this weekend, 33rd wedding anniversary. How about that? And you thought the Iraqi war was a never-ending conflict." --David Letterman

"This is weird: due to complaints, Walgreen's drug store has been forced to remove talking dolls of Barack Obama and John McCain. Walgreen's was also forced to remove the real Ralph Nader from the store. He was hanging around. He wasn't buying anything." --Conan O'Brien

"Of course, tough times on Wall Street right now. In a speech today, President Bush said of the rescue plane: '(It's) big enough to work but needs time.' Yeah. Then former President Clinton said the same thing ... but he wasn't talking about the rescue plan." --Conan O'Brien