Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"They say that recently, on a campaign bus trip, John McCain actually snubbed Sarah Palin on the bus trip. But now listen, to be fair, here's what actually happened. She was busy on the bus trip, in the rear, out the window, shooting squirrels." --David Letterman

"Earlier tonight, Barack Obama had a half-hour television special. Did anybody happen to see it? It's a lot of money, ladies and gentlemen. Don't kid yourself. A half-hour, prime-time network television. I mean, it costs a lot of dough. And they say it was the most money spent by a Democrat for a half an hour since Eliot Spitzer." --David Letterman

"Yesterday, in Washington, I don't know if you heard about this, the Secret Service arrested a man who climbed over the White House fence. True story, yeah. Yeah, the Secret Service told the man, 'Get back here, Mr. President. You have two more months.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Think about it. Just six days from today, we'll know for sure exactly which candidate will be suing the other for voter fraud." --Jay Leno

"And of course, this Barack Obama appearance was historic for our network. This is the first time a black man has appeared on NBC in prime time since Bill Cosby." --Jay Leno

"And while CBS, NBC and Fox were showing the Barack Obama ad, ABC was showing 'Pushing Daisies,' which I believe is the name of the McCain ad, if I'm not mistaken." --Jay Leno

"A moment in history. It was on this day in 1846 that the Donner party left for California. You know what happened there. Everything went wrong. They wound up eating each other, kind of like what's going on in the McCain campaign right now." --Jay Leno

"A Massachusetts Democratic state senator named Dianne Wilkerson has been arrested for accepting $23,000 in bribes. She was going to use the money for her re-election campaign. And the FBI has actual pictures of her stuffing the $23,000 in her bra. ... Isn't that great? Talk about putting together a campaign war chest." --Jay Leno

"And President Bush is preparing to leave the White House. That's a big job after eight years, of course. Of course, on the bright side, not a lot of books to pack." --Jay Leno