Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"The infomercial was very well done. I especially liked the end, where Barack rose to the heavens on a cloud." --Jay Leno

"Here's the amazing part, this is true, it was the highest-rated show on NBC last night. NBC's already talking to Barack about picking it up for 13 more episodes." --Jay Leno

"And after Barack Obama, I watched John John McCain's ad on TV. I thought it was McCain's ad. Turned out it was just Wilford Brimley for Liberty Medical." --Jay Leno

"And Republicans now say that the $150,000 worth of clothes they bought for Sarah Palin will probably go to a charity. Charity, is that a good idea? Isn't that kind of counterproductive? I mean, you're going to give a homeless woman your spare change when she's wearing a Dolce & Gabbana jacket and Jimmy Choo shoes?" --Jay Leno

"Larry King and John McCain looked like two guys who would be fighting over Cloris Leachman." --David Letterman

"But here's what I like about John McCain. He's an optimist. Always sees the glass as half full of his teeth." --David Letterman

"And how about last night, when Barack Obama had his half hour infomercial TV special. I mean, thank God! It’s about time this guy got some media coverage." --David Letterman

"And did you hear what happened down in Washington, DC, earlier today? Guards had to wrestle and apprehend an intruder who was trying to jump over the White House fence. Nice try, Hillary." --David Letterman

"God! The dotcom thing is killing inspirational speech! 'I have a dream! For more on my dream, go to www.MartinLutherKing.org/mountaintop.'" --Jon Stewart

"I've noticed a number of athletes are now endorsing candidates in this presidential election. Barack Obama has been endorsed by Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley, and John McCain's been endorsed by Ty Cobb and Jim Thorpe." --Conan O'Brien

"Joe the plumber was supposed to appear at a John McCain rally today, but didn't show up. Yeah. So, apparently, the guy really is a plumber." --Conan O'Brien

"Obama is ahead in every major poll. One online gambling site has him as a seven to one favorite to win. They're saying the only way Obama could lose this election right now is if they made him bowl for it." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The governor of California is the actor and former body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He announced that he opposes Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is the proposition in California that would ban gay marriage. ... Arnold also opposes Proposition 14, which would require all Governors of California to speak some English." --Jimmy Kimmel