Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Egyptian archaeologists have discovered a 4300-year-old pyramid. And I’m thinking, there’s yet another house John McCain forgot about." --David Letterman

"Now that Barack Obama has been elected president, producers in Hollywood say they think America is now ready for a black James Bond and a black Wonder Woman. Isn't that cool? Yeah, hell, America may even be ready for a black Michael Jackson." --Conan O'Brien

"The United States Postal Service said the economy's so bad, it will have its first layoffs in the history of the post office. May lay off 40,000 workers, yeah. Company officials said they have no idea what happened. They don't understand why people aren't using the mail like they used to, and they said all 40,000 workers would be notified by email. I don't know. Is that a good idea, 40,000 disgruntled postal workers at holiday time? That doesn't sound like a good thing." --Jay Leno

"But now we see some bitterness. We see some back biting, and Sarah Palin is saying that the reason they lost the election is the media. The media is to blame for losing. It's the media. Well, yeah, because it's their fault that she entered beauty contests instead of a library." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama was thrilled, I mean, thrilled, because even as a United States senator, he had never really been to the White House, so he was thrilled to be there. He thought, for a minute, he was getting a 21-gun salute. Whoa! It turned out it was just Cheney fooling around." --David Letterman

"Hey, did you see this on the news? In the country of Sierra Leone, six out of ten male newborns at the Freetown main hospital were named Barack Obama. Six out of ten. Even more amazing: at least 23 babies born in North Carolina last year [were] named John Edwards, Jr. How about that?" --Jay Leno

"As you know, President-elect Obama promised his daughters a puppy if they move to the White House. And he's already getting advice on what the best breed of dog to get. For example, today, President Clinton told him the Oval Office is a great place for a husky female." --Jay Leno