Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"In political news, it looks like Hillary Clinton accepted Barack Obama's offer to be secretary of state. Very exciting. She accepted after Barack Obama's vetting process could not find any link between her and Bill Clinton." --Jay Leno

"General Motors announced that they are ending their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. When asked why, a spokesperson for General Motors said, 'Tiger Woods is successful, competitive, and popular. And that's just not us.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Today Barack Obama announced his economic team. President Bush is working closely with them. Obama said his team has many obstacles to overcome ... the biggest one being that President Bush is working closely with them." --Craig Ferguson
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. ... But, see, like most internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'" --Jay Leno

"The Obama transition team has leaked that his top choice for homeland security chief is Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano. Her first job? Find out who leaked her name. Today, they asked President Bush what he thought about Napolitano; he said, 'It's delicious, especially the strawberry part.'" --Jay Leno

"The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves. Well this week Ford did its part. Ford unveiled a new hybrid, the Ford Fusion, which will get almost 40 miles to the gallon. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, and when asked how much it would cost, a spokesman for Ford said, '$25 billion.' They just want that money; they don't care. That's without mud flaps." --Conan O'Brien

"According to some statistics the government released yesterday, Mexican immigration to the United States has dropped 42 percent over the last two years. And you have to hand it to President Bush, he knew that the way to stop people from sneaking into the country, it's not to build a fence or a wall, it's to make this country very undesirable. Most illegal immigrants come here to make money, but now we don't have any money anymore. That's Number 43 for you, always thinking ahead." --Jimmy Kimmel