Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Rod Blagojevich was arrested for trying to sell a seat in the Senate to the highest bidder. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And folks, if convicted, he could wind up in prison, where his seat will be sold to the highest bidder." --Conan O'Brien

"This week, the White House sent out a memo listing President Bush's successes and accomplishments. Actually, it's not so much a memo as it is a Post-it note." --Conan O'Brien

"But Joe actually did have praise for McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin. He called her the real deal. That's great, I'm glad they got along. And they're perfect for each other, in a way. In fact, they're actually starring in a new movie together. I don't know if you've heard, it's called 'Dumb and Plumber.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"How many people in our studio audience got your seats tonight because you paid off Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich?" --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama said that he will not smoke cigarettes while he's in the Oval Office. He's kind of a closet smoker. So, he said he wouldn't smoke. And President Bush actually defended him today. President Bush said he smokes a cigar on rare occasions. He says it helps him think. Apparently it's a VERY rare occasion." --Jay Leno

"Big news from Washington today. Even though it may make some people uncomfortable, President-elect Obama says he'll use his full name, Barack Hussein Obama, when he's sworn in next month. To show support, Joe Biden is also using his full name, Joseph Adolph Fidel Puppykiller Biden." --Craig Ferguson

David Letterman's Top Ten Messages Left on Rod Blagojevich's Answering Machine

• .Hi, it's Larry Craig -- did I hear something about a Senator's seat being available?
  
• I'm guessing you didn't spend the bribe money on that haircut.
  
• It's Sarah Palin. Thanks for replacing me as the country's most embarrassing governor