February:"Winless Detroit Lions score an upset victory in NFL Super Bowl thanks to secret clause in U.S. auto industry bailout plan; jubilant Detroit fans go on celebratory 5-day citywide arson rampage, resulting in almost twelve dollars in property damage."
"Big surprise at the Oscars as Heath Ledger returns from grave to accept Oscar for Joker role in Dark Knight, orders clown-masked henchmen to open fire on Hollywood A-listers; 'The ultimate method actor,' gushes mortally wounded Sean Penn."
December:
"Consumers buoyed by news of reappearance of wooly mammoth in Alaska; Sarah Palin wins landslide special election as 'She-Ra, Bringer of Meat'”
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