Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I was thinking about the inauguration. It was pretty amazing. There were two million people crammed into that mall this week. Two million people. Not one arrest. Not one crime was committed in Washington. Of course, that will all change now that Congress is back." --Jay Leno

"The official temperature at the inauguration was 18 degrees. John McCain said it was so cold his teeth were chattering, and they were in his pocket at the time." --Jay Leno

"President Barack Obama has signed an executive order officially banning torture in the United States. You know what that means? ABC may be forced to cancel 'The View.'" --Jay Leno

"After lots of discussion and intervention by the Secret Service, Barack Obama will be allowed to keep his BlackBerry, but his use of it will be limited. So I guess it's gonna be on Verizon." --Jay Leno

"Actually, it's a special BlackBerry, built just for him. They're calling it a 'BarackBerry.' This is true. It doesn't even have a battery. Runs entirely on hope." --Jay Leno

"Caroline Kennedy withdrew her bid to fill New York's vacant Senate seat. You heard about this? According to some reports, she dropped out because of marital problems. How bad is your marriage when it keeps you from replacing Hillary?" --Jay Leno