Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Today, Governor Blagojevich is being impeached. Of course, the state of Illinois is already searching for a new crooked politician to take his place." --David Letterman

Did you know this? We have a brand-new Miss America, Katie Stam, from Indiana. They choose Miss America based on personality, how the young woman looks in a swimsuit, and how she looks in evening gowns. That is the competition. It's the same way that John McCain chooses a running mate." --David Letterman

"Former President Bush is back at his place in Texas, Rancho Inepto, and Bush is not worrying about the country. So it's like he's still president." --David Letterman

"But congratulations to Hillary Clinton, our new secretary of state, who was sworn in holding the Clinton family Bible. It's a special edition, because Bill had removed four Commandments." --David Letterman

"As you know, President Obama has signed an executive order closing Guantanamo Bay. The big problem: how do you get these inmates back to their home countries? They're all on the do-not-fly list." --Jay Leno

"This is kind of an awkward time for President Bush. He's too young to retire, yet still too old to destroy the moral and economic infrastructure of another country." --Jay Leno

"Man, you could not watch television today without seeing Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who is saying all these crazy things about himself. Blagojevich did all these interviews, and in one of them, he compared himself to Martin Luther King. Yeah, Blagojevich said, 'I have a dream, and for 100 bucks, I'll tell you about it.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Looks like the Obamas have already helped the economy. J. Crew stock has gone up 10%, because First Lady Michelle Obama has been spotted wearing their clothes. Which raises the question, Mr. Obama, how would you feel about wearing a Buick?" --Conan O'Brien