Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"General Motors says they won't need the $2 billion bailout money after all. Apparently they're getting great returns with some guy named Madoff." -- Craig Ferguson

"I got kind of a moral dilemma here. Do you think, and be honest about this, do you think it's too soon for me to hit on Bernie Madoff's wife?" -- David Letterman

"Bernie and his wife Ruth want to keep $69 million. They said that's not money they swindled. That's just money they they saved by switching to Geico." -- David Letterman

"Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson have broken up. That's right. That's right. And apparently it was not that big a surprise. Even the Russians saw it coming." -- David Letterman

"John Edwards spoke to the students at Brown about poverty and morals. Yeah, and who better to lecture young people about poverty and morals than a rich personal injury attorney who knocked up his mistress?" -- Jay Leno

"The journalist who threw his shoes at George Bush was convicted on Thursday in an Iraqi court. He was sentenced to three years of non-stop high-fives." -- Jimmy Fallon

"Well, earlier this week, President Obama took on the teachers union by saying he wants merit pay for teachers and to fire the ones who do not perform well. That is pretty bold. A Democrat taking on the unions? That's like Rush Limbaugh going after the donut manufacturers." -- Jay Leno

"Here's a sign that the times are a-changin'. The governor of Virginia has signed a new law banning smoking in bars and restaurants. In Virginia. See, that's significant because Virginia is, like, the tobacco state. That would be like the governor of California banning breast implants." -- Jay Leno