Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"And some sad news. Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter, has broken up with babydaddy Levi Johnston. I was stunned when I heard. I mean, really, if two kids without a decent education and no jobs and a baby can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?" --Jay Leno

"Here's a guy that won't go away, that Osama bin Laden. We got another audiotape from bin Laden. Have you heard it? He attacks moderate Arab leaders, he calls for renewed jihad, and he gives his NCAA picks. And then on the tape, Osama bin Laden wonders out loud why Jennifer Aniston can't hold on to a guy." --David Letterman

"According to the New York Times, President Barack Obama plans to nominate Dr. Margaret A. Hamburg, a former New York City health commissioner to be the new head of the Food and Drug Administration. See, I think this is a chance for President Obama to step across party lines. You know who he should nominate for this job? Rush Limbaugh. No, no, think about it. Who has had more experience with food and drugs than Rush Limbaugh?" --Jay Leno

"Hey, some sad news. Bristol Palin, you know, the daughter of Governor Sarah Palin, and her fiance, Levi Johnston, have broken up. Well, who could have seen that coming? Ironically, you know what happened? She could see him with another girl from her front porch." -- Jay Leno

"Because of the bad economy, they're laying off employees on 'Sesame Street.' It's pretty sad. Elmo is now out on the street letting people tickle him for $5." -- Jay Leno

"Michael Steele, the head of the Republican party, is in very hot water this week, once again, for suggesting that, actually, it is the woman's choice, if she's pregnant, what to do. And also suggesting that homosexuality is something you're born with. Rush Limbaugh attacked him today for being dangerously sane." -- Bill Maher

"In a speech Tuesday, President Obama outlined new education goals that proposed longer school days and longer school years. 'That's a brilliant idea,' said Katherine, the fifth grader nobody likes." -- Seth Meyers

David Letterman's Top Ten Ways the GOP Can Become More Hip

• They should totally start a band.
  
• Change Rush Limbaugh's name to Spongerush Fatpants.