Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"They first said they tortured this Khaled Sheikh Mohammed -- and by the way, if there's anyone who deserved it, it was him -- but first they said they did it once. Now it comes out 183 times that they waterboarded this motherf**ker in a month. This comes out to six times in a day. I would think after that, you get used to it. He was showing up at his torture sessions in flip flops and a beach towel, with a Danielle Steele novel. 'Would you like sparkling or flat waterboarding today, sir?'" --Bill Maher

"Obama was on the news today speaking about college spending. He’s proposing a new budget '' $15 billion for college loans, $20 billion for Ramen Noodles." --Jimmy Fallon

"Here's a name out of the past. He used to be governor of the state of New York. Eliot Spitzer, does that ring a bell? Listen to this, according to a new poll, two out of three New Yorkers would like to have Spitzer back as their governor. Of course, two out of three New Yorkers are hookers." --David Letterman

"The people of New York liked Governor Spitzer. I mean, the guy had a reputation for being on top of everything." --David Letterman

"Do you know who is in town? One of the Somali pirates is on trial here in the United States. But he is not just in court. No, this pirate is everywhere. For example, this weekend, he's hosting 'Saturday Night Live.' Monday, he's attending the Tribeca Film Festival. Tuesday, he's going to launch his new fragrance. Wednesday, he's having lunch with Ruth Madoff. And Thursday he's going to hijack the Staten Island Ferry, so he's got a big, full schedule." --David Letterman