REVIEW: THE INFORMERS

Very entertaining review of THE INFORMERS

"This film, an adaptation of a Bret Easton Ellis book of short stories, is one of the worst things I have ever seen, and I once saw the charred corpses of two people who had been burned alive in a horrific car crash. This film shouldn't just end careers, it should be immolating them. People involved in this film should be moving east and becoming Amish to atone. They should be flagellating themselves every single morning, crying tears of shame."

"It is scene after scene of characters you don't care about doing things that are not interesting and saying things that are stupefying. And then, somewhere towards the end of the movie you realize that none of these characters and none of these scenes connect (although you'll probably be disoriented from the sheer directionless meandering of the film, so you may not actually know how long has passed or whether or not the movie is drawing to a conclusion. And that's not an exaggeration - it wasn't until the credits came up that I was certain there wasn't another hour of film to go)."

"It manages to make the nearly constant nudity of (Amber) Heard actually boring."

"The worst storyline must be the one where Brad Renfro and Mickey Rourke have kidnapped a child to sell to a group of vampires. At least that's the story in Ellis' book. The movie has, in its infinite lack of wisdom, simply cut the vampires out. I mean, I guess they're still there, but they don't do a single goddamned thing in the movie. This is the storyline that makes you want to retract Rourke's comeback and that makes you feel jealous of Renfro: while he is in the movie at least he's too dead to be forced to see it."