iowahawk: A Statement from the Speaker of the House

A Statement from the Speaker of the House

"In recent weeks I have stated that I was never briefed, nor had any prior knowledge of, the use of so-called "enhanced interrogation techniques" on detainees by U.S. interrogators. Today, the Central Intelligence Agency released documents indicating they had briefed me on the use of these techniques in September 2002. Having no personal recollection of this meeting, I directed my clerical staff to retrieve meeting notes for the date in question."

"After a thorough review of these notes, it appears I was unaware this meeting was with the Central Intelligence Agency. Instead I was under the impression that it was a coffee chat with Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, an important constituent group from my home district. In their description of waterboarding, fuzzy caterpillars, etc., I simply assumed they were speaking of new Castro District trends in sexual foreplay."