Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Well, here's the latest. The White House says, as of now, it is not contained. It could continue to get worse. And they were just talking about Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"I think a lot of people are really overreacting to this whole swine flu thing. Don't you? Come on. Like today at Disney World, they quarantined Sneezy." --Jay Leno

"And Supreme Court Justice David Souter announced he is retiring next month. You know who's replacing him? I was surprised. Conan." --Jay Leno

"President Obama said this week he is worried that the country is losing its love of learning. You may have heard him say this. He said we need to show as much attention to science award winners as we do basketball players. Now, didn't he just install a basketball court in the White House? I guess the West Wing science lab is next on the list." --Jay Leno

"According to a poll on the Marie Claire website, they asked people what they would do to keep their job? Interesting. 28% said they would give up their office to keep their job. 27% said they would work fewer hours to keep their job. And 45% said they would move to 10:00." --Jay Leno

"Right now, I'm an hour away from a long, luxurious weekend of washing my hands every five minutes and loading my shotguns to fight off any swine flu zombies that might wander into the yard." --Jimmy Kimmel