"In the latest swine flu update, the Mexican government has told its citizens to stay home, to which Lou Dobbs said, 'I've been telling them that for years!'" --Jay Leno"And up in Canada, Canadian officials are saying that a herd of pigs caught the swine flu from a human. They said the human involved is a pig farmer who recently visited Mexico. Well, good job by the Canadian customs officials catching that one. 'And where did you visit?' 'Mexico.' 'And what is your profession?' 'Pig farmer.' 'I see no problem. Come right in.'" --Jay Leno
"The number two movie in the country is the romantic comedy, 'The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,' or as John Edwards calls it, 'a horror film.'" --Jay Leno
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