Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Well, tomorrow, John Edwards' wife, Elizabeth Edwards, a great woman, is going to be on 'Oprah.' How many of you are going to watch that? How many of would you rather see her beat the crap out of her husband on 'Jerry Springer?'" --Jay Leno

"John Edwards did not come off good in this thing. In fact, I understand he's now looking for a third America to hide out in." --Jay Leno

"Mexico's finance secretary says the swine flu outbreak is costing the Mexican economy 2.2 billion. The good news? That's in pesos, so it works out to, like, a buck eighty." --Jay Leno

"And former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told a group of fourth graders that the Bush Administration never used torture to interrogate terrorist suspects. Condoleezza spoke to the fourth graders using simple, uncomplicated words that they could easily understand. Same way she explained it to President Bush." --Jay Leno

"Hey, today, Maine became the fifth state to legalize gay marriage and the first gay couple to get married? I was surprised: L.L. Bean and the old Pepperidge Farm guy." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama and Joe Biden made a surprise trip outside the White House yesterday for burgers. Obama ordered a cheeseburger and Biden asked for whatever comes with the toy." --Jimmy Fallon

"The government is now recommending that schools stay open even if they have a confirmed case of swine flu. I love it. In one week, the swine flu has gone from 'the end of the world' to 'not as bad as snow.'" --Jimmy Fallon