Gawker - Conan's Opening Monologue Jokes Leaked - Conan O'brien

Conan's First Opening Monologue

Well, I've timed this moment perfectly. I'm on a last place network, I moved to a state that's bankrupt, and tonight's show is sponsored by General Motors.

A lot of people have been asking me, "Will your show be any different now that you've moved to Los Angeles?" I tell them all, "No. Mi programa no va a cambiar porque estoy en la ciudad de Los Angeles."

This is a huge night for me. I remember watching Johnny Carson when I was a kid and thinking, "That's what I want to be when I grow up." And I'm sure right now somewhere in America, there's a little kid watching me and thinking, "What is wrong with that man's hair?

I think they've built us a beautiful studio here in Los Angeles. This studio holds 380 people. It's exactly like being at a Clippers game.