Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in a tight race. This guy is everywhere trying to drum up support. On Sunday, he was on the Iranian talk show, 'Eliminate the Press.'" --David Letterman

"If you think about it, we're losing short, tiny dictators. If Mahmoud Ahmadinejad loses, he's gone. And then you got Kim Jong-Il. He's gone. So then the only tiny dictator left will be Mayor Bloomberg." --David Letterman

"A new report just came out that says President Obama has mentioned Jesus Christ in more speeches than President Bush did. Can you believe that? Still, neither has used the phrase 'Oh God, oh God,' more than President Clinton." --Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, President Obama spoke at a town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yeah. Yeah, half of the Wisconsin crowd had never seen an African-American, and the other half had never seen a skinny person." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama is proposing a new national healthcare plan that's both inexpensive and accessible. He's calling it Have Your Surgery In Mexico." --Jimmy Fallon

"Al Gore is back in the news today because President Obama is saying he might send him to North Korea to negotiate with Kim Jong-Il. I'm thinking if you're going to send a vice president to negotiate with a madman, why don't you send Joe Biden? At least Biden speaks the language of crazy. He understands the ways of the bonkers." --Craig Ferguson

"He's been acting up a lot lately, Kim Jong-Il. Yesterday he sentenced two American journalists to a labor camp. And a couple of weeks ago, he tested another nuclear weapon. I think he thinks he's a Bond villain. The next thing you know, he'll be living in a hollowed-out volcano with an army of robot skeletons and he'll be stroking a large cat." --Craig Ferguson

"I am Stephen Colbert, and I am reporting for duty. Folks, right off the top, I want to thank the USO for bringing me and my show to our brave men and women in uniform in Baghdad, Iraq. Thank you so much. I have to say, this place is great. I've always loved the beach, but I hate the ocean, so this is perfect!" --Stephen Colbert