Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Hillary Clinton's in the news. She's recovering very well from her broken elbow. They revealed this today in the paper. As part of Hillary Clinton's physical therapy for her elbow, several times a day, doctors have her repeatedly squeeze a gelatinous ball. Yeah, although it was Hillary's idea to scream, 'Take that, you son of a bitch!'" --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain's in the news. CNN reports that Senator John McCain has more than a million followers on Twitter. And apparently, every single one of McCain's tweets says, 'The nurse is stealing from me.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, at her confirmation hearing, Sonia Sotomayor said that judges gather information from everywhere, including Wikipedia, which explains why she kept citing the landmark case Roe v. Wade Boggs." --Conan O'Brien

"Ladies and gentlemen, California may have solved its budget problems. True story -- a politician in California has proposed a plan that eliminates the state's budget deficit by legalizing and taxing the sale of marijuana. It's called Proposition Fo' Shizzle." --Conan O'Brien

"Here in California, we have no money. Our budget situation is a mess. And when you have no money, what do you do? You sell drugs, right? A state representative from San Francisco just introduced a bill that would legalize marijuana. He claims it would raise almost $1.5 billion a year for the state in taxes, and another $3 billion in Cheeto sales." --Jimmy Kimmel