Late Night Political Jokes Updated

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

"To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien

"Big beer fest at the White House. And today, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an emergency goodwill mission for pretzels, so that will be good." --David Letterman

"Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because she didn't want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it. I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert

"The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It's difficult to tell." --Craig Ferguson

"The White House press secretary, Robert Gibbs, said that Twitter is now blocked on every White House computer. Gibbs said: 'Sorry, I will not give a specific reason on why we are blocking Twitter. This concerns international White House … O.K., it was Biden. He was playing around again.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Have you guys heard about this? Henry Louis Gates, the Harvard professor who was arrested while trying to get into his own house? Well, to smooth things over, President Obama has invited Gates and the cop, Sergeant Crowley, to the White House for a beer. How cool is that? Obama is handling the situation like two of his bros got in a fight over a girl or something. They'll come over. One beer will lead to two. Two will lead to nine. Next thing you know, everyone will forget they were ever mad at each other. They'll start doing Jaeger shots out of Betsy Ross' thimble. They'll make prank phone calls on the Red Phone. Crowley will pass out. They'll put his hand in warm water and giggle. Then they'll all wake up in the morning with matching tattoos of 'Twilight' star Robert Pattinson. It's such a great idea." --Jimmy Fallon