Other Crap

The good news: Jesus is back

The bad news: you have to get new calendars. Time is now measured by his second birth, so it is year 49.

The worse news: he doesn't allow you to handle money, so you'll have to make that calendar by hand. Come to think of it, even if you were allowed to handle money, the new calendars are probably not available at Barnes and Noble in a Garfield and Odie edition.

Differences between the Jesi: the new one is Russian, and has a wife. And there's none of this chastity business. He's nailing her often: six kids.

Because in your country you nail Jesus, but in Russia Jesus nails you.

Walking on water is a lot easier this time around. In fact, it's very easy in Siberian winter.

"Intellectuals, artists and professionals flock to worship him in the small isolated village of Petropavlovka - more than 2000 miles from Moscow."

As prophesied.

(Note on the picture: for some reason he wears white tube socks with his sandals this time. Just keeping up with the times, I suppose, and the Russian winters.)