Other Crap

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze: Dalton has gone to a place where "pain don't hurt"

Bart Simpson once said of Krusty the Klown: "I've based my life on his teachings." I have said the same of Dalton, the character Swayze created in Road House.

Here is my alleged "review" of that movie, which is more like a love-poem to its genius. I called it "the white trash Hamlet; the redneck Romeo and Juliet; Macbeth with a mullet; Timon of Athens, Georgia."

The Double Deuce was the bar Swayze brought order to in Road House, and now he's gone to bring order to the great Double Deuce in the sky, so in honor of my idol, join me in the only alcoholic drink that ever passes my lips: The Double Dews - Mountain Dew and Dewar's.

In fact, you should have about twenty of those, but don't get too rowdy in that bar or Dalton will come right back down from redneck heaven and bounce your ass out of there.

After being nice first, of course.

And don't you think he can't do it.